Friday, May 27, 2011

♥ crazy beautiful life ♥

when i say you never know what life will throw at you,
i mean it.
when i tell you to smile and don't try so hard,
i have my reasons.
when i tell you to live in the present,
just do it.

thank God for everything.
every cloud has a silver lining,
just look on the bright side,
it'll help you to feel better.

i remember how i always complain about everything,
because everything just felt not right.
but the fact is, it's the matter of time and myself to accept new things.
there's no need to rush, we ain't going anywhere and complaining won't help,
just give yourself some time and you'll be okay.

okay so i just came back from Dawn's birthday party. her birthday was on May 7th but it was exam so it was postpone to May 27th. its 12:20 am now (May 28th) and the party was rockin' awesome! ;D "we never quit, we never rest on the floor"  just like the song 'On The Floor' by Jennifer Lopez ft Pitbull, we went so high on the floor, keep on dancing & screaming our lungs out! now that song has just officially become our anthem! ;D 

it was all started last Wednesday (May 25th) just when exam finished. after school we went to MidValley for karaoke to release our stress because of the depressing exams :/ and our day turned out to be FANTASTIC.  Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, 3 days in a row we're so high! this morning during Hari Guru celebration (Teacher's Day celebration) they turned some songs on & we just went so high.. we even sing Friday by Rebecca Black, the song for the worst song ever award! and then continue at Dawn's mom's wine shop. these three days are just so much fun! now i feel bad because i know im gonna miss QinLarissa and specially Ezra. Allyson, Hwu Ning and Carmen and many more during this two weeks holiday.

but before this, all i know was to complain & compare.
it's not the right thing to do.
i refuse to enjoy anything because i kept telling myself that i don't belong here.
well maybe i don't but this is my home now.
i gotta live like i belong here and live my life to the fullest.

and so i say, life's crazy, you don't know what will it throw at you to make you stop. so why are you sad and all when you can actually smile and feel good ? appreciate this life you have. you only live once.

*for fuck's sake.. i hate this song!! let me outta here!!*
here are some pictures of us at karaoke last Wednesday..

meet 'em people! credit for editing go to Larissa :)

us :)
hello! oh this is taken by me :)

Ezra .. being Ezra xD

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

if she could, she would.

as she wait for her mom to pick her up,
she was worried because it was late.
her mom was late for an hour.

this morning she saw her mom doing her work facing the laptop until 6am.
she started to think.
"mom must fell asleep. she must be very tired."
so she decided to walk home.
while on the way home, many thoughts came to her mind.

"what if im not exist. mom wouldn't have to do two jobs like she's doing now.
am i a burden ? why am i feeling like im a burden ? is this all my fault ?
why am i feeling like this is all my fault ? do i belong here ?
why do i feel like i don't ?"

yeah that happens all the time whenever she's alone.
she shouldn't be alone or else she will end up crying to sleep.
i don't know why. she told herself that she have everything she need.
but she still feel there's so much more.
is she lying to herself trying to make things better, i don't know.

when her mom and dad split up,
someone told her that it wasn't her fault.
her mom told her the truth and she said it was okay.
she was four. do you think its okay ?

so i whisper to her ear,
this is not your fault. this really is not your fault.
it's their choices. i know,
if you could make things better, you would.
you never want your dad to do that.
you never want your mom to leave.
i saw you kneel down every night and pray.
i know you keep on wishing that things will get better.
i promise you, you will make things better.
maybe not now, one day you will..