Wednesday, May 4, 2011

if she could, she would.

as she wait for her mom to pick her up,
she was worried because it was late.
her mom was late for an hour.

this morning she saw her mom doing her work facing the laptop until 6am.
she started to think.
"mom must fell asleep. she must be very tired."
so she decided to walk home.
while on the way home, many thoughts came to her mind.

"what if im not exist. mom wouldn't have to do two jobs like she's doing now.
am i a burden ? why am i feeling like im a burden ? is this all my fault ?
why am i feeling like this is all my fault ? do i belong here ?
why do i feel like i don't ?"

yeah that happens all the time whenever she's alone.
she shouldn't be alone or else she will end up crying to sleep.
i don't know why. she told herself that she have everything she need.
but she still feel there's so much more.
is she lying to herself trying to make things better, i don't know.

when her mom and dad split up,
someone told her that it wasn't her fault.
her mom told her the truth and she said it was okay.
she was four. do you think its okay ?

so i whisper to her ear,
this is not your fault. this really is not your fault.
it's their choices. i know,
if you could make things better, you would.
you never want your dad to do that.
you never want your mom to leave.
i saw you kneel down every night and pray.
i know you keep on wishing that things will get better.
i promise you, you will make things better.
maybe not now, one day you will..

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